A Public Interest Litigation or PIL in front of the Delhi High Court has revealed that criminals incarcerated in Tihar Jail are merrily using personal cell phones inspite of an earlier court order banning this practice. The judges expressed their displeasure at the jail authorities who pleaded helplessness. According to them the prisoners were resorting to a heinous practice of shoving cell phones into their anuses ( or should it be ani? ) to avoid detection by jail authorities. Once inside they were hiding these devices in flower pots. Two questions spring to mind: 1. How does a man insert an entire cell phone into his anus? The anal opening is a tight aperture that admits one index finger suitably lubricated with jelly. Patients find it uncomfortable. To shove an entire cell phone would certainly be a very painful exercise. The Court should have asked for a practical demonstration from the jail officials on how it is done and having inserted it how they got it out again. Having resided inside a man's rectum would the phone work again? Which of the many brands now available in the market is best suited to residing in a man's rectum? This could well be an advertising slogan - ' a phone which works as well in your pocket as in your rectum.' 2. Why are there so many flower pots inside the jail and why have not been removed? These men are criminals and have been sentenced inspite of India's notoriously incompetent and corrupt justice system. That makes them real bad eggs indeed. Why then are they being caressed with flowers? Criminals would have lots of money stashed away. Is this the lubrication facilitating the entry of cell phones into anuses?