Political discourse in India.

The sixth edition of the IPL, a private version of twenty:20 cricket, starts today. It normally generates lots of excitement but this year our politicians have decided to entertain the people. For free, which is generous of them. Mr Mulayam Singh Yadav, MP and Chief of the SP, tried to york the Congress first up by saying that the Congress " are so clever and such cheats that people believe them all the time ". Mind you, he immediately made amends with a gentle full toss by saying that he had no intention of withdrawing support from the present government and thus precipitating general elections. Mr Beni Prasad Verma replied by trying to hit him for a six. Who he? He is supposed to be the Union Minister for Steel. He said that there will be a " funeral procession " of SP candidates in the next Lok Sabha elections, predicting that they will win only 4 seats. Worse he tried a reverse sweep by saying," I said yesterday that SP will win 4 seats; it is my analysis. They have betrayed the people, in particular, the minorities." That had to be a very red rag to the bull because SP will sell the majority for the votes of the minority. The SP tried to trip Mr Verma while he was running by demanding his removal from his chair as minister as he had lost his " mental balance ". Not easy. We know that Indian politicians are fixed to their chairs with super glue and will plumb any depths to stay there. Besides " mental balance " has never been requirement to be an Indian politician. Mr Akhilesh Yadav, Chief Minister of UP and son of Mr Mulayam, tried a googly saying," Parties which struggled to get 5000-10,000 votes in assembly polls in most of the constituencies will be able to win not more than 4-5 seats out of 80 in Lok Sabha elections." To take him on the full Mr Verma danced out of his crease by saying," Mulayam has cheated Muslims...He did not do anything to save Babri Masjid." Before Mr Verma had time to recover Mr Ram Gopal Yadav had a go at the stumps by saying," Beni Prasad is my elder and had been in our party for quite a long time. I can understand his frustration because his son lost twice before our candidates. When he contested from Ayodhya, he managed to get just 400 votes." TOI, 31 March. The SP then tried bodyline when Mr Shivpal Yadav said," You all know and you have also read that Beni Prasad smokes a lot...These days he is smoking a lot...he mixes something in the tobacco. He should undergo treatment. You have read also that he is into smuggling of opium. He mixes charas in his cigarettes. He is doing both these things. So his mind maybe affected." This was on 1 April so it could be an attempt at fooling us or it could be opium for the masses. Other teams such as the BSP and BJP are watching from the sidelines hoping for a tie so that they can get ahead. Entertaining, but we prefer the cheerleaders.